Is moving abroad or even to another city for love, worth it?
Recently, a good friend of mine moved from the UK to Sweden to meet his love for good. I thought ‘WOW this guy, got so much balls’ but I was extremely happy for him because I know if he’s willing to do that then that explains how serious he is. This is not the first time he’s moved abroad for love, this will be his second time and the previous one lasted for a good number of years. Am I sad he left? No but I know he’s going to come back soon so that’s all good. I haven’t been keeping in contact with him but when we do it’s like we’ve never stopped talking.
I’m exactly that person who would treat you the same since we spoke 5 years ago, it wouldn’t be weird at all. I met this guy back at uni and he was the first person I ever spoke to outside of my dorm. Mind you, this was only the 2nd day of university. I remember asking him if this stop was for the uni bus and he said ‘I hope so or else I dunno where to go’. We sat next to each other on the bus and we chatted. I realised we had a fair bit in common so we when arrived at the university we exchanged numbers. He is very reserved and quiet like me, found out last week that he told me he’s an INFP.
Me being a thinker, I’ve always wondered why I would move for love. Why other people move for love? The fact being if I love someone seriously and I can imagine a future with this person…then yes, I would move. And I already have, a FEW times already. Why did you think I was in Japan?
Here are some reasons I personally think about before I commit moving anywhere else:
- Am I seriously in love with this person?
- Can I imagine a future with this person?
- Can I trust him?
- Am I able to find another job easily?
- What will I lose if I move? Friends, family, job?
These are the ones I can only think of right now but after speaking to my mate about it, I figured we had all those points in common but the most important factor is the last one.
What do I have to lose?
Both of us had nothing to lose. We didn’t have great jobs and it was unstable. When I first moved I thought this job wasn’t working out well for me so why not venture out and try something new too? Do I have any emotional attachments to my friends or family? No. I might sound very harsh but I’m quite independent, don’t mind being a loner at times.
Sometimes when you know you have nothing to lose and there’s little risks, you can step up or even gamble your life away. There will be people disagreeing with me but that’s how I see things. My friend didn’t have a stable job and he was pretty fed up with constant routine that he needed a change. It was good change because he was happier and he got to spend time with the person he loved.
I’m a sucker for romance; gullible or maybe naive you would probably say. Living in an illusion of merry merry things, not wanting to wake up from my wonderful idealistic view of the world. I applaud people who are willing to move because it shows that ‘they got balls’ and sorry but that’s the only thing I can say. Bravery, courage, balls of steel is a little more specific.
Is risk a big part to play?
But when does it turn risky? It turns risky when you are unsure of the whole relationship. If you don’t have great communication and there’s no trust then it will fall down faster than your elbow knocking down the Jenga tower block.
My take on this is:
Nothing to lose= No /little risks for moving.
Something to lose= Are you willing to make a little sacrifice? How much do you love this person?
Everything to lose= BIG risk, you’ll need more time to think about it. Are you sure about this? Do you REALLY love this person?
If someone had a fantastic job, with a nice house, car, amazing friends and family would you still go? For me, I would need a bit of time but I can almost certainly say yes I would still move. That’s because if I love someone then I would give them everything. It may sound like I would be sacrificing the most but I would still be happy because I’m able to stay with this person. Am I living to be loved you might ask? Possibly but that’s only the answer I deeply know whether or not it’s true.
I hope people out there who moved don’t regret going there in the first place. Don’t live with regrets, do what you feel you need to do. I’ve never regretted moving and I would do it again any day. It was your choice in the first place so don’t blame anyone if things go bad. Always think of a backup plan if possible because of course, nothing is 100%. You may split up a month later but you’ll have to deal with the consequences and actions yourself. I split up with one of my ex a month before I was going to stay in Japan for a year and I still lived through it. Take it as an opportunity to try something new and make something good out of it!
I hope my friend finds ‘the one’ this time and I have a very good intuition that this may be the case.